I decided to clean my deck the other day. Of course I realized that it would take more than one day, both from the size and from the accumulation of “stuff” on it. But summer seems to be a good time for this kind of cleaning and certainly the deck has been crying out for attention.
I have to admit it’s hard work. It’s especially hard since I am doing it without benefit of pressure washer technology. No, I decided that I would use cleaner, hot water, a scrub brush and as we said when I was growing up “Power by Armstrong.” I got myself excited about doing it when I took a bottle of spray cleaner and sprayed a six inch section of a board to see if the cleaner would work. Not so surprising, in the clear eyes of retrospect, what had been brownish green and slippery when wet emerged nearly white, and with some actual pattern of the wood grain showing. That was enough for me!
After I closed out my computer from my work day, I put on my oldest jeans, shirt and shoes and decided that with the length of the days of summer, I had a good two hours to work. It didn’t take long for me to realize that cleaning 24 square inches of deck was less than a drop in the scrub bucket when compared to a deck that goes along most of the width of the house and half of the depth in its L-shaped glory. Anyone know how many square inches there are in 300 square feet?
So, clearly I have taken the first bite of a very big elephant. What’s Zen got to do with this project? I can see cleaning the deck as a metaphor for this blog, my book and for the project that inspired both. I could decide to take the easy way out and call in a local handy person to finish the deck for me. If you can throw money at it, it’s not a problem, right? The problem of the deck would be solved, clean and bright. Unfortunately, what it represents for me would still be there. and that's starting a project and not finishing it because I lose faith that I can complete it. Or, and I’m really not sure if this is worse or better, never starting in the first place because of the fear I won’t be able to finish. Either way, I don’t do it. But this time, I intend to complete the projects: the deck, the blog AND the book.
Continuing the work on the deck will be a “moving meditation” time. The beauty of the yard is a backdrop for using my body and my energy to take the time to make an outside part of my home as clean and beautiful as I like to keep the inside of it. Watching the dirt loosen and dissolve under the soap and the brush under my hand is as positively reinforcing as watching the word count go up as I am writing. It feels to me that creating, and re-creating are two sides of the same coin. Working on something big, whether a novel, a deck or a life, is a labor that takes time, effort, tools, patience and perseverance. Will I be up to the task? Not only do I believe I can, I believe I will.
By the way, I’ll let you know when the deck is finished. Hopefully you’ll see for yourself that the blog is a reality and perhaps even when the book is finished. As for me, I’m still a work in progress.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment